To Get List

Saw a wish list from somewhere, decide to make one of my own. But since I don't believe in wishes - I'll just name it 'Lists of things I need to get instead'

Let's work hard toward them, YOSH!!!

1) 6-pack! (Not gonna diet for it - but I'll exercise!)

2) Electric Guitar and the skill to rock out!

3) A proper sleep/wake hours.

4) Life-time supply of pocky. Strawberry ones as well!!! (Screw you James/Sam)

5) Friends who will miss me as much as I miss them.

6) Black socks. Comfy ones.

7) Someone who loves me, for who I am, because who I am, as I am, as I will be. Hopefully that someone is cute too.

XD

I guess that's pretty much it for my list of things. Now, I'm going to go do some push-ups. Not soon, not in a week, not tomorrow - right now. This is my life and I'm living in.

Australia

It's a fucking disappointed.

...

The movie that is - but if we're talking about my time in Australia so far? It's fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (You can just tell I'm going keep doing that)

I'm seriously, right as soon as I touched down I was invited to a private little get together hosted by a friend of mine. Twas indeed a memorable night. I could never quite recall such an intellectually stimulating conversations. And seriously, we all love the drunken idiot who passed out at these outing. There has to be one and ours was soooooooo awesomeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Bribe works.

...end of story.

A moment of romance?!

So like, I have never played a dating sim game before but I have heard of such thing from Lucky Star. And so you can imagine my surprise when I encounter a 'flag' today.

For those of you sorry sorry people who have never watched Lucky Star, a 'flag' - as Konata explained it - is an event where a potentially romantic relationship can devolope.

And I had one today XD

I was buying some random crap (yakult, if you absolutely must know) from a near-by corner store when a random (hot) girl walked up to me and go...

Hawt Chick: Ano... ex-sah-cuse-mi...

I was like, she looks asian, she's speaking English... she said ano... could it be?! ZOMG, a Jap girl!!! A cute Jap girl!!! And so, I gather up my courage and said: Nippon-jin desu ka? And waited for her reaction. And she said...

はい! 日本からまたあるか。 休日にあるか。 どの位ここにいたか。 タイを話すことができるか。 私を助けて頂けますか。 私はSIMカードを買う必要がある。

And I said, ...., (Mentally I said: What the crap! Slow down, I'm not like a pro-Jap speaker! And you jumping up and down really doesn't help!)

Eventually I worked out she wanted me to help her buy a SIM card. And help her get a taxi to a hotel. Which I did. And we waved goodbye. And I gave her my number, in case she need some help with things,

She's probably not going to call but I enjoyed the time we spent together Yasae-chan!!!! All 20 minutes of it!!!

Victory!

...and with one last mighty heave the handsome prince threw the Sword of Justice into the eye of the evil marauding ogre. The foul beast howls in agony before withering away to nothingness, leaving but a small wisp of dust in its place.

And with E.M.O. (Evil Marauding Ogre) vanquish, once again the force of Good stands triumph over the force of Evil.

Okay, you're probably wondering what's up with that. Well, if you're not in the knows then just forget about it. But if you are in the knows then this post is a congratulation and a salutation to a certain friend of mine who has just gotten over a major hurdle in her life. You know who you are babe - take a bow and eat your victory pocky, you earned it.

...

...say... can I have a pocky?

Deep and meaningful crap

Hm...

It struck me as I browse other people blog that my own postings, though readable and somewhat interesting, lack a certain ineffable quality that some other blog has. A more thorough scanning shows that what I lack is a post that’s deep and meaningful in nature. Something that rips the heart of the reader out and set their philosophical brain on fire! Or something along that line…

And so I wonder – what could I, a hare-brained idiot with too much time on his hand, possibly write about that would qualify as deep and meaningful. And as you know, wondering is akin to thinking in that it uses a lot of brain-power and any form of exercise, even mental exercise, makes me hungry.

Food… foooooooddd…..

And when I thought of food I immediately thought of… pocky!

But is pocky food though? Of course it is!!! It’s tasty, filling and all-around awesome. But then another question popped up; is it savory or is it sweet? Would it fall under dessert?

Pocky – admittedly, is quite a curious thing. It is a salted pretzel stick covered in chocolate. Now, the pretzel stick part seems to imply that it’s savory but then it’s covered in chocolate and clearly chocolate is a sweet! And really, it’s a wonder that those two things goes together at all. It’s like eating curry with cracker – the idea alone boggles the mind! But somehow pocky made it work and it’s the number one quintessential food of our time.

There is much to be learned from pocky.

It could be a way-of-like; two things that seem so totally incompatible may in fact work well together. It would have cool catch-phrase like… Life works in mysterious way – like pocky…

Hm… pocky…

It's just a phrase...

Well, I hope to heck it is cause I'm genuinely creep out by it...

Okay - I have no idea if this is completely normal by a girl standard but my little sister has recently bought a bride's veil and now she's playing with it. She's dressing up in white and pretends she's getting married.

What. The. Fudge?

Like seriously, is that normal for girls? Do you dream of being a bride and marrying handsome prince when you're younger? Because it's just damn weird! Like, I'm a guy and we sure as hell didn't play 'The-Groom' or practice saying I-do.

Like - this could be the point where I show my sensitive and open-minded side and be completely understanding but guess what? I won't!

Why? Well, excuse me for being a little awkward about the idea of my little prepubescent sister marrying some guy. Eww, no, sorry, really don't need that image in my head. And seriously, any guy who thinks he's good enough to marry my lil sis immediately have three things wrong with him; 1) he's an arrogant prick for assuming such a thing, 2) he's an idiot - because he thinks his opinion means anything to me, and 3) he's a suicidal emo - why? Because he knows that by putting himself anywhere *near* my lil sis he's going to get his scrawny arse beaten to a pulp

XD

Wasting a Saturday night

Wasting a Saturday night by sitting in front of a computer screen working instead of going out is a crime.

Seriously, there's a reason why normal people don't work on weekends. See that word right there? Week-Ends. As in, the week is over you bastard! Let me go! I want to live - not be coped up here!!!

Alas, the force of justice and good does not always win. But whatever, a man gotta do what a man gotta do right? Right. Well, I supposed it's excusable when you have to work something but not going out where you CAN go out? That's a crime, mortals! A crime!

So what are you doing with that half-open, drool-covered ginormous text book? What are you doing sitting there munching half-finish bag of corn chips watching Saving Private Ryan for the 8th times? Get your social bones cracking and go out you lazy person you!!!

I mean, you don't have to be a Yesman or anything. (though it'd be interesting if you are... wait you are? Okay, can I have 50 bucks? I can? Sweet!!!)

The Melancholy of David Coulton

I was typing up some random report on things I really don't give a toss about on MSword and playing around with the thesaurus function. Then I somehow got to the world melancholic. I was like, what the crap, how did I get from quiet to melancholic. Oh well, whatever.

And then I stopped typing.

Melancholic is such an interesting word. It's obviously not happy but it's not exactly sad either now is it? The different seems to be as small as jealousy and enviousness but it's there and I wonder where it is. Bored, lonely and melancholic - I sat there contemplating whether I should grab a dictionary or just wiki it.

And then I heard something.

A faint yet undeniable sound of fingers dancing across steel strings and booming drum...

I whipped into my bag and pulled out my ringing phone - it was playing God Knows from Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I tapped answer and press the phone against my ear. It was my brother - apparently we're having dinner together. 'Cool,' I answer, feeling my sour mood lifting.

When that's done I look back on the screen and come to a conclusion.

Do you know what the different being melancholic and being sad is? Being sad is a fashionable emo-esque feeling common in teenagers now-a-day being melancholic means you're just down cause second season of Haruhi isn't out yet and all you need to bring you out of that funk is a friend to call you up with a good news.

Stop being melancholic people!!! I don't want to waste phone credits calling your sorry-arse. XD

I didn't drink redbull today.

...but I drank some yesterday!!!

And by Brittany it was awesome!!! Redbull is, admittedly, quite disgusting. It's like, soda water + sugar + more soda water + more sugar... yeah, that's about right... However, bag not the juice of heroes for redbull does in fact give you wings.

No, the wings aren't invisible you idiots. The wings are metaphorical; metaphorical, spell it with me N-O-T-L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y-T-H-E-R-E. But it's there non-the-less.

Drinking a redbull is like signing yourself up to a bootcamp... or the Biggest Loser. It'll coerce, forced and may even outright beat you into a super-hyper-notquitesane version of yourself and makes you do crazy things like spamming crazily in chat-rooms or jump from the third floor balcony into the pool below when it's night time and the water is freezing cold...

Not that I did that yesterday or anything.

I want love!

I want pocky!!!

But I can't because pocky equates love and apparently I'm unlovable because God saw fit to eradicate the existence of pocky from Thailand - which, to me, is like a massive booming voice saying 'David, I don't love you anymore, so no more pocky for you,' and then lightenings.

So that's it.

That's what I've been craving for the past 3 months - a flipping box of pocky. Seriously, last year it's everywhere - there's even a store that stock 28 flavours of pocky! 28!!! People, that's like one for each day of February - heck, you don't even need to worry about having to eat those damible Valentine Day chocolate some random stalker girls made you... just eat pocky instead... and because it's pocky, any one of the 28 flavour would be like the nectar of God!!!

Unless it's a leap year - in which case you're screw and must eat one of those daminble chocolate. Or just go without chocolate for one day. Or just grew wings and fly or stop breathing for a day... because that's about the same on likelyhood scale.

Also, screw you God! Gimme back pocky!

(Seriously though, you know who I blame for this infamy? YOU PEOPLE!!! That's right you fickled Thai - how can you like something for years then suddenly stop liking it?)

Surprises you want and surprises you don't.

Seriously now - do you like surprises?

Okay, since I'm typing it's kind of hard to expect a response so whatever, I'll keep on typing.

I guess it depends on the person. Sometime I wish people would throw a surprise birthday party or something but most of the time not really. Why? Because for some reason my life so far has been filled with crappy surprises. So I'm kind of dreading surprises if you know what I mean.

Like the other day I sneaked out and had lunch at a Japanese restaurant I've been frequently for ages and guess what happened? Bad salmon-roe!!! I threw up and got food poisoning as well... sucky me huh?

'But David!' you protest vehemently. 'it's Japanese? How can a Japanophile like you hate anything Japanese?'

Well, my only excuse is that it was a Japanese restaurant run by a dirty Thai businessman (like yours truly) who cares more about profit than good food. I bet they threaten the poor Japanese chief to use the bad salmon-roe so they can shave a few bucks off they cost!!!

/scene in David's delirious mind/

Poor chief: *throwing away salmon-roe*
Evil Businessman: What are you doing?!?!
Poor chief: It has gone off, sir, I must throw it away.
Evil Businessman: No you won't! It cost money!!! Money!!!! You must use it!!!
Poor chief: It's goes against my ethics!!! I won't.
Evil Businessman: Oh yeah? Well, you can use it or say goodbye to your anime collection!!! I've taken it hostage and will burn it!!!
Poor chief: No you vile monster?!?!?!!! I have no choice now...

/scene ends/

Hm... so what now? KFC till I die? God no! I'll just go to a different restaurant... there's like a bazillion Jap restaurant in Thailand.

Loneliness

Loneliness is a sin.

Every time you're being lonely, you're committing a serious offense in the eyes of God. And thusly, he kills a kitten for you crime. Every single time you see a dead cat on the street remember, it's murder, and you've committed it.

-_-

Okay, I was just kidding.

Loneliness is... like... like... herpes! Yea, that's it. It's something you catch when you least expects it. Sure, you can try to be all safe and stuff but no matter how much you prepare for it, you can still get it. And like all STDs, even though you know you might get it you still can't stop yourself from having sex.

Having sex here is used as an euphemism for making friends, of course.

Which is okay really - after all making friends is great. (and so is sex, but that shouldn't even need to be said)

To me though loneliness is like a constant companion. Like a funny little dog that barks at trees or a pair of old boots you refuse to throw away, it's always there with me. I wrote somewhere not long ago that I feel lonely a lot - it's weirdly true. I get lonely for the oddest of reason... like when I'm at a wedding... or when I'm in the zoo... or when I stand in line to buy a ticket at the cinema... or when I turn off the phone for a while to save the battery...

Life is better with phones, people. Never forget it.

Lies for Liar

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in." -Hub


See that name there, Hub? It's not a name of a real person. It's a name of a movie character. I'm sure you can find out about him with google and copy-paste but that's not the point. The point is it's true.

I lie.

Continuously and conterminously - whatever. The point is I do it. I will apologize but I won't mean it. I won't lie when I say I'm not a good person. I pretend to be because it's easier than being honest and having to deal with consequences.

And we're all liars anyway, so lies for liars is okay right? I build a world of illusion for you so when you tear it down you can do so with your own sets of lies.

Deal?